8/15/2018 0 Comments On living abroad (2)When you tell people you're planning on going abroad, you get all sorts of different reactions and comments, but they all somehow tend to go on the same route. You'll be asked where and why, be told to be careful and be given a list of all the possible stereotypical problems people know of from said country. However, none of this matters, because at the end of the day it's the experiences you'll have that'll build your definition of living abroad.
Now, so far being abroad had taught me a lot. From the basic admin procedures we never understood as kids, to understanding you'll be forced to deal with all kinds of people. You grow up and adapt to a new way of living, and learn that every culture has its issues and you have a right to voice them and work on them in your own terms. These are all things you can guess you'll live through once you move abroad. They are things you unconsciously consider and think of before taking off. And in a way, once they come to you and you deal with them, they just become a part of the experience. However, the hardest part of living abroad I believe is the emotional weight that comes with it. And this is something no one tells you about, because is not easy to explain and even less to cope with. Once you leave, distance becomes much more than just numbers, or plane rides. As Garcia Marquez once put it so well, after a while, you'll have to accept that you're now the friend that's never actually there, and that your mom will now have an “invisible” daughter. With time, you'll get use to dealing with jet lag and time changes, but every goodbye will always feel like the worst one so far. And you'll only discover the true magic behind a hug once you reach 2am in the morning and the only thing you'll wish for is the warmth of that person's arms that are now miles away from yours. No one talks about the sleepless nights where your new room suddenly transforms into the one from your childhood, but as you try to reach for that old toy box, it crumbles, because you’re not there anymore. Texting becomes an even bigger tool and voice notes gain a magic power. And then after a while, it all starts going both ways. When you go back to visit home, there comes a point where you miss your life abroad, the cafes and libraries that now feel familiar to you, you’re friends, the freedom you might have, the little details you love about that city. And suddenly you feel troubled, because even though you’re at home, back with all those things you missed so much, a part of you feels divided into two still, because you now have two homes, or maybe three or more. Now don’t get me wrong, this is not a bad thing. In my book, it only shows that you’ve found a good middle ground, because in spite of all the emotional weight one might experience, if you get to a point where you experience a city enough that you miss it, you’re doing something right.
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2/4/2017 0 Comments On friendship and growing up.Friendships change the older you get, and if you ask me, the whole thing is quite an interesting concept. See as I stated in a previous article, I grew up surrounded by great friends, that I saw everyday and with whom I experienced all "crucial" parts of childhood and adolescence. And there's something really interesting about experiences like that, because even until this day we somehow keep growing up together. Nowadays I see them discover their passion, make new friends and encounter the same difficulties of being an adult and living abroad as myself. We might be miles away, but every time we get a chance, we visit each other and it genuinely feels like nothing's changed. Now the changes I see on them I suppose they see on me too. At some point we all started to build our own lives outside of this circle we had as our safe haven, this place that for twelve years represented familiarity for us. We all began to choose what could, from that point on, be our new "everyday", and in many ways those choices really matter. You see something as simple as calling someone a friend can be tricky. As I said before, the older you get the more the dynamic changes, or if anything the more the approach you take differs from prior encounters. However there are times where immediate connections are made. Where although you might not know the person or where they are headed you somehow feel you can connect in some way. And then it's your time to choose. Choose to continue and embrace whatever might come from that first hello. Now I guess this fascinates me because in a way that's not how I saw relationships before. Don't get me wrong, I clearly chose whom I wanted to talk to or be with in school, and it wasn't at all a forced choice. The thing is it just felt so natural and was stated in such an effortless way, given that as a group we shared the same space for so long, that there was no need to think about how the friendship developed. However nowadays, there’s a sort of pressure that comes with creating bonds, and I definitely felt it when moving abroad. Most people say that it is at university that you make life long friends, and if you think about it, the more you listen to something like that the more you pressure yourself to make every connection last. You want to be able to say that your university years meant something, and not just because you got a degree. But then suddenly you’re there, you’re in this new phase, and at times everything seems to happen so fast that you’re not sure of what’s going on, and this his is where the pressure can affect you. We’re all different and we all know this. You are not going to like every person out there and they are all not going to like you back. So if for some reason you seem to take longer to make connections, you’re going to start wondering why. Is it you or is it them? And unfortunately if you let such feeling grow, you’ll get stuck. We live in a world where sometimes looks seem to matter more than other things, where belonging to a group is still something some feel the need to achieve. Following this premise, what seems to matter ends up being the quantity of friends or people around us one can have, and not so much whether those relationships really bring something positive to you or not. When in reality, that is where our attention should go. When you start making “life long” decisions like the career path you’ll take, or the potential country you’ll want to settle into, you’ll want people who will stick next to you no matter what. People that, whether you decide to move 10000 miles away on a sporadic epiphany, will still come up to you and say “I’ll always visit”. People who teach you about their culture and allow you to be a part of it just as much as you allow them to be a part of yours. People for whom you’d want to move cross country to see just for a few hours, or with whom you wouldn’t care to try new things with because that’s how much you trust them. Now don’t get me wrong, I am aware that trust is one of the hardest barriers to climb. And there are times where even after having gone past it, seconds of insecurity still overcome you. But if you are able to communicate such feelings, not only within yourself but with those around you as well, believe me you can find ways to keep climbing back, because at the end of the day it is not about climbing by yourself. Now see, when you’re a kid, your ambitions, your goals are limited only by your imagination, not by money or rent or other people’s expectations. Then as reality kicks in, those dreams that once seemed so close and achievable start to get further away from you. And depending on different possible scenarios in life, dreams can be found on the side-line more often that one would like. However, they shouldn’t die with your realizations, and I believe going back to that child like state is a great first step for that. Because in that state, even something as simple as climbing that trust barrier was nothing. If you saw a nice kid in the park and you wanted to play, you would go and ask them to play. You took chances, and even if sometimes yes, you could get hurt, you kept coming back to the park to try again. And things can work out the same the older you get. When you first meet someone, the first jump is hard, but then it can get a bit easier because it becomes teamwork. You create a bond, which is built and strengthen with time. Now sometimes that can take years, others months, and in rare and special cases, what could seem like weeks or days. But once you find those people who can help you embrace your dreams without loosing touch from what’s in front of you, then I believe you’re in a good path for the future. Because it is then that you start to see the changes. Sometimes it seems hard to believe that you might have an effect on people, or that the effect someone could have on you could really bring something special. With stress and deadlines we get lost, in life and with ourselves, and we forget. A close friend once told me that it seems almost ridiculous how easy it is to forget that as long as the sun rises and sets, time flies by and everyday could be better than the previous. However, one thing I don’t think they realized by saying it was how easy it was for them to remind me of that. How with just a few words, a whole new perspective came back. And this is what I mean when I say that we don’t always realize how important our relationships can be, and how much a small gesture could go a long way. I guess what I want to get at with all of this is that, we shouldn’t be afraid of what’s in front of us. But most importantly, that we shouldn’t let pressure dictate how we want to build our connections, because deep down, I like to believe that we know when something feels right. 1/18/2017 0 Comments Holidays AbroadUp until the age of 18, I had never spent Christmas anywhere other than Mexico or the USA. For me, as for most I assume, it was all about family. All of my uncles and cousins would gather, and we genuinely had an amazing time. Then as I grew up, such gatherings kept getting smaller, but it was only when I moved to France that things took a different turn. I suddenly found myself figuring out where and how I would spend Christmas without my family. During my first two years here, my mom wasn’t able to come for Christmas, and because of my exams I wasn’t able to go to Mexico either, so things had to change a little bit. I ended up spending Christmas at my best friend’s grandma’s home the first year, which gave me an insight into what Christmas it’s like in a French household. Then the following year I went to England and spent it with another friend and her family, and got to see a little bit of the English traditions. Now these have been experiences that I’ve genuinely loved, and as an expat, I think holidays are always a pretty particular aspect of the whole experience. It’s interesting, the way in which the same holiday changes around the world. In Mexico for example, the real celebration comes on Christmas Eve. You may go to church if that’s part of your tradition, then head back home and get everything ready for dinner. When it comes to the meal, there are a few standard dishes you’ll find. In most households: tamales, turkey, cod and “atole” are first on the list. Then of course each family adds its own variations. Now I had the chance to go back home last year for it and relive all of it again, and let me tell you, although my marks at uni didn’t appreciate it that much, I sure did. However this year it all changes again, I had no more than a few weeks break for Christmas and most of it needed to be spent revising for finals. Hence, this time it was Christmas with friends. You see in France, the order seems to be Christmas with family, new years with friends, so I guess that in a way, I was somewhat respecting that this year. In Mexico we are used to spending both with family, however, ever since living in France I think my friends and I have gotten use to our random little holiday stories, not really knowing where or with whom we might be. But don’t get me wrong though, every single year is a new experience and it’s always nice to see what others might be doing for the same holiday. To me, it’s pretty amazing to see the way in which people are brought together during this time, and how you can spend a whole day and night with people you just met that day but yet have the best time, because we’re all there for the same reason. 9/24/2016 0 Comments Taking OffSo it’s been a while since you’ve seen me here. I went back to Mexico for the summer, and, as for most of us during this time, I took a little time off. Now the funny thing is it kind of happens unwillingly. Don’t get me wrong I do lots when I’m there, with my mom or my friends amongst others. But when it comes to all the things that I’m used to doing in Paris, it feels weird to continue them away, which is a concept that I still fail to understand. Anyways, this if the third summer I spend back in Mexico since living abroad. Each and everyone are different, but there is a familiarity in the journey to get there every time. They say the world gets smaller the more you know of it. Once you start going to all these different places, they somehow feel familiar to you afterwards. Now that first step, travelling by yourself for the first time, influences a lot of your future travelling experiences. It sets this standard, standard that you try to improve with each new journey you take on. For instance, I wouldn’t say I hate airports, though there’s no particular love there either. Over the past three years, they’ve become an important part of my life since I go through them at least four times a year. And when you travel this often, you’re kind of forced to make the best out of an airport. Between packing hacks, and discovering secret passages to get to your gate faster, the journey becomes less painful and gains a sort of magic. When travelling, the world suddenly seems smaller, and twelve hours in the air become less and less strenuous. Think about it, from France, I can be in another country in four hours or less, another continent in six and my homeland in twelve. I mean sure, if you spend those hours sitting down in a large metal cylinder without much to do they can seem like forever. But when I think about those long days spent at Uni or a library or pretty much doing nothing at home, I would definitely rather be flying to a new place if I were given the choice. When you first start, even a 2-hour journey seems like an eternity. You feel lost, don’t know how to work your way through an airport, and every little detail going wrong makes you freak out immediately. Budgeting and planning out your days seem like impossible tasks, leaving you with little energy to even think about everything you’re going to experience. However, the stress slowly decreases the more you do it. It might not necessarily be an enjoyable journey at first, but the destination makes it worth it. Personally, going back to Mexico for the first time was awful. My suitcase surpassed the weight limit, I wasn’t sure of what to bring as a carry on, and going through immigration alone was the scariest thing I had ever done. You see, I had gone through all of this before, but I was always with my mom. And as with everything, when it’s time for you to do it on your own, you overthink and feel an unbelievable amount of pressure. As I said before, is these kinds of experiences that set you off to either hate or love travelling. So why do it, why travel? Sometimes we have for obligations, work and studies… And sometimes (hopefully most times) because we just want to. Because there is nothing wrong with wanting a home cooked meal, or a vacation after a stressful week, or simply wanting to visit a friend that you haven’t seen in some time. If you ask me, I learned a lot from my first solo take off, and have kept learning with every journey I go on. Each city and experience brings its own charm, so at the end of the day, I think giving it a try is not that bad. “We travel because we need to, because distance and difference are the secret tonic of creativity. When we get home, home is still the same. But something in our mind has been changed, and that changes everything.” – Jonah Lehrer 6/19/2016 0 Comments On creating bondsMeeting new people is quite interesting isn’t it? They were always there, in fact you might have even crossed paths, they just weren’t a part of your life.
Now this fascinates me in many ways, mainly because I always found taking that first step hard. You see some might say I am a shy girl, in fact I could even label myself as one, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know you. But that’s the weird thing about first impressions, they set you up for expectations. After seeing someone for the first time, you’ll probably be lead to categorize him or her. Not intentionally of course, it’s just something that happens. Now the big difference lies on whether you are willing to see past that and find out more, or just stay like that, in the dark. You see one moment can change it all. A simple decision can make it or break it; saying yes or no to a metro ride with someone, or a study session in the library, or simply laughing at a remark being made about your name. In just a second, you can go from being in your own bubble, to acknowledging another human being that could unexpectedly become a big part of your life. Now I must say I never really had to experience much of this. Up until the age of 18, I grew up around the same people and group of friends. We knew and still know everything about each other, went through our worst phases together, and can probably tell if something’s wrong even if it is just over the phone or a message. Needless to say, stepping out of it was a rather unsettling situation. I didn’t know how to approach strangers, and even worse, having to do so in a different language terrified me. But here’s something I’ve learned, no matter how scared or shy you might be, if you are open to the possibilities, things can work out in the end. Being able to say yes or just considering it can open the door to and endless world full of relationships and bonds, created in seconds, amongst people who somehow, somewhere, found their way to each other. You can end up meeting people who have never been to your country, and yet from miles away are fascinated and want to know more. Or people from a totally different background and culture, that might understand your struggles better than those you grew up with. To me this is the beauty about Paris, and big international cities in general. You have a pool of stories and cultures in one same spot; Australia, Sri Lanka, Ecuador, Georgia, France, England, Colombia and much more. Now if you would’ve asked me three years ago if I thought I would know someone in each of these countries, my answer would’ve probably been no. However today, I can tell you that I feel more connected to the world and the people around me than never before. I’ve learned that Melbourne is known for its coffee, and never to question a Melbourian’s knowledge on it. I travelled to Ecuador for the first time after meeting a great group of Ecuadorians studying in France, and have now ironically gathered and adopted quit a few of their expressions. I’ve been to England to be welcomed by a Romanian family, allowing me to learn from both cultures at once. And, recently and unexpectedly, I’ve learned more about Sri Lanka’s culture, dances and language in the past few months than I ever thought I would. The list could go on and on, and to be honest I think it is one I’m really proud of. I don’t think I would be the person I am today if it wasn’t for the experiences I’ve had. I’ve built friendships and relationships that are scattered all over the globe, and I’m constantly amazed by how much I am able to learn everyday from the people that surround me. Creating bonds is part of what makes us human. Realizing that the girl or boy you cross paths with everyday could have a similar experience to yours puts you in this interesting position, where you suddenly feel less like just an individual, and more like part of a community. Now, I must say that before coming here, these were circumstances that terrified me. But now, I can safely say that I’m happy with where I’m headed. I’m going to be honest; I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know whom I might meet, or who might not stay. The one thing I can say though is, that every single person you know can have a great impact in your life. So take a chance and say “Hi”, however many times it might take, there’ll always be that one person who’ll reply. 6/2/2016 0 Comments What does home mean to you?If you had to give one answer, to define what you would call home, would you be able to do it in just a few words?
After a few days in Paris by myself, the only thing I could think of was - “I want to go home”. I wanted to be back in my room, in my home town, with my family and friends. Up until moving abroad, Mexico had been my home. Then the time came for me to go back in the summer, after my first year in France. I was excited. I couldn’t wait to be back and just feel at ease again. The funny thing was, that I didn’t. Coming back, things had change, and maybe to the eyes of those living in Mexico they weren’t big changes, but for me, it was strange. Buildings that disappeared, others that had been built, stores closing, friends changing careers or moving houses. Even if, yes, it was still my hometown and I was falling back into my old routines, it still felt like starting all over. Something as simple as a conversation made me feel anxious because there was at least one new name popping out every sentence. People I had never heard of before that were now a big part of my friends or family’s lives. I kept being introduced to more and more people, and though it was great to meet them, I couldn’t help but miss the old times. Those days where I knew what was happening around me, even if I wasn’t necesserily present. I must admit, before coming back this first time, I never expected to feel as out of place as I did. At the end of the day, this is where I grew up, but then again, how was I expecting a place I haven’t lived in for a year not to feel foreign. You see moving abroad puts you in an interesting position. You start building your own traditions and routines to settle down, but yet part of you is still back home. And even though you want to get to a point where you can call this new place “Home”, a part of you keeps saying – “How could you?”. You hold on to what you know, because change can be scary, but you also can’t help to wonder whats on the other side of the barrier. Having spent a few years in France now, I can safely say that I’ve jumped over the wall of the unknown. Being here can definitely feel like home. I can work my way though Paris like I never thought I could before, and even though figuring out the ways of the French is still a work in progress, there is a familiarity that comes with the city every time I come back. In my mind, I can now say there isn’t just one place I would call home, because home is more than just where I grew up, or where I live now. Home to me is what I’ve experienced, the memories I carry with me: A smell, a look, a word, or even just a sound can take me back to all these different moments, and make me feel calm and at ease. Everything I’ve been through and everything I’ll go through will leave a mark on me, and whether I like it or not, it’ll probably follow me for the rest of my life. Before Paris, the sound of the metro doors closing or police sirens going off meant nothing to me. But now, if I hear that somewhere else, weirdly enough it’ll make me feel home just as much as hearing someone speak Spanish. We constantly feel the need to put a label on our origins, so we can fit into these boxes, where there’s no loophole imaginable. However, we are not just part of this one thing. After I went back to Mexico that first summer, I realized I shouldn’t have felt bad about feeling like I dint fit in. It did not changed who I was, instead it only showed how much I grew and transformed. I was carrying a whole set of new experiences, and this meant that I was going to have to adapt every time I moved around, which I’m getting used to now. The constant switching between languages, traditions and cultures is just another part of my life, part of the things that feel like home at this moment in time. 5/7/2016 1 Comment On getting olderThey say your early twenties are part of the best years of your life. You see magazine articles, blog posts and even books on the topic. For the most part, I think we could all say we agree with some of their statements, but at the end of the day, getting older it’s so much more than just that.
When I was five, I remember dreaming about turning 10, but having those two digits seemed so far away it was almost impossible for me to imagine it. Now, I just turned 21, and it seems to me like it was only yesterday that I dreamt about being a 10 year old. It’s crazy how fast things can change. If I asked you – what were you doing five years ago? What would you answer be? There’s a lot that can happen in a year, let alone five. Three years ago I was graduating, getting ready to move abroad. Now, I’m settled in what I can somehow call home. Every year comes with a new set of experiences, and that to me is what makes it special. So when my birthday comes, and I’m asked all of these questions about how it feels to be a year older, I never feel like I’m able to answer. That new symbol that has been added to my age is only one of the changes that the new year has brought. You see, my year goes from September ‘till May, which is the length of a full university year in France. It has a rather bittersweet start, with the end of the summer holidays, and ends in what’s usually a great note: the beginning of summer. And in between all of that, great, and not so great things occur. So if the question I got asked were to be – what has this new year brought? Then yes, I could probably give many answers. I’d talk about the new relationships I’ve built, and how I’ve been lucky enough to meet and end up living with amazing people that have helped turn my experience abroad into something extraordinary. I’d list all the great things my friends are doing, and how they inspire me to chase amazing opportunities too. I’d explain how I realise that 21 it’s actually not such a big deal, and how the reasons I feel like more of an adult are my experiences so far and trying to figure out what the next step in this adventure is going to be. But yet also, how at 21 I still feel like a lost child sometimes. I reminisce a lot. I think it started happening after I turned 18. Looking back at my high school years and experiences now seems extremely far away, and yet, I know I have a lot more to come. It’s funny though, isn’t it? How things gain value over time. I never thought I would miss high school, yet somehow there are times where I wish I could go back. Those moments, that at the time seemed stupid or irrelevant, have now become great anecdotes. Memories that put a big smile on my face and make for good 2am conversations with friends. However, there comes a point where getting older it’s not just about you anymore, and I think we fail to see that sometimes. Sure, every decision you make forges your future, but at some point they also start involving other people, and this is, I think, what scares me the most right now. 4/3/2016 0 Comments Just another SundayUsually Sundays are really calm for most of us, but the way in which people spend said day obviously changes from country to country. In Mexico, Sundays are probably one of the busiest days if you go to a mall, a restaurant, or the supermarket. People take advantage of it to do the things they don’t get a chance to during the week. They treat themselves to a nice meal, or a movie, a little bit of shopping or simply a day out in the countryside. Thus, you have to be really strategic about what you do, and the times you choose to do so. In my family, Sundays usually meant visiting family outside of the city, and to be honest I loved it, because as I said if you stayed in the city, it would’ve probably been super busy. I knew what to expect on Sundays, and there was always something to do. We had options, and not just for entertainment. If I ever happened to forget something for my homework or buying whatever it was I needed for a project on Monday, I knew there would be something opened. However, the whole concept changed as soon as I moved to France. Here, Sunday is the most relaxed day of the week. So much so that nothing’s open. If you walk around Paris, the only things you’ll find open will be cafes and a few restaurants and clothing stores. Other than that, it pretty much feels like a deserted city. To me, this was the weirdest and most confusing thing ever, and it meant I had to be really organized with my food shopping and other activities. Normally back in Mexico, we bought food for the house on Sundays, which I cannot longer do here, and don’t even get me started on emergencies. If you ever forget to do anything important on Saturdays, you are pretty much screwed. Even the most random and unpredictable things like getting sick are a struggle on Sundays, pharmacies are closed and hospitals have a limited number of staff working that day. Now don’t get me wrong, it is nice to have a peaceful and quiet city for a day, especially in the mornings. It always amazes me how much silence there is as I wake up on a Sunday, compared to the rest of the week where you can start hearing people walking, children talking and cars as early as six in the morning. It is a nice contrast though, and a good change from time to time. I definitely miss not having to worry about whether things would be open or not when I needed them to be, but aside from that, Sundays are still just a day to relax. |
About WUTAS23 year old, looking forward to share my thoughts! Entries
August 2018
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